u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think I sprained my soul last night
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
