Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You are a genius and a whore.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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