I want to make a zoo with you.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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