I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
another moral hangover. fuck.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
