I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I need to calm my uterus...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
