Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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