Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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