Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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