I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
