My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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