Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
