You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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