he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize