if only i could text you this smell
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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