my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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