the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Randomize