My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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