Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
