Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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