your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wish you could order shots online.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
