I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
