plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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