is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
