Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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