He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
