You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
