NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
