He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
