Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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