Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
