Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
