I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
