The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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