it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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