Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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