Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
