So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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