You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
