In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
