i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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