dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
