Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
