Sponge bath it is.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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