last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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