we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
