I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize