Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
