OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Randomize
