So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
