Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
