Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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