White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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