I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I deserve this hangover.
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