so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
