Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
