is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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