my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think i got beer on your cat.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
