when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize