It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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