btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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