i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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