he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
