Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
