Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
