Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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