I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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