he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
cat food counts as protein by the way
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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