I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I need water and some morals
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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